We don’t do things by halves. We are either doing it or not doing it.
We grew up being the best.
The best in our class. The best in our school.
We were praised for being the best.
We developed our sense of self from being at the top.
So what happens when we are not the best.
Well according to our all or nothing persona, we are nothing.
It makes us scared because if we are not at the top we are nothing.
If we are not the best, we might make a mistake.
Until we are exhausted and then we stop- burnt out.
Nothing left to give
Our giving cup is empty
The balls we were juggling have been dropped
And we feel worse than ever.
All or nothing.
What if we could live a life without all or nothing.
Without being perfect.
Without the fear of making a mistake.
Without constantly striving for more.
What does this even look like?
But we need to learn to balance.
Our body and our mind work best when things are in balance.
How do we learn balance?
Self-awareness -Awareness to see what is happening both within and beyond ourselves.
Self-care -Caring for ourselves deeply and authentically
Self-compassion -One of the hardest thing for doctors to do is talk to themselves kindly.
As doctors, we are taught to diagnose and fix the problem- either medically or surgically.
We are fixers.
We are healers.
But if we want to continue to do our job, we must find balance.
We can’t continue with “all or nothing.”
Start with Self-awareness.
Listen to your inner thoughts.
What are they saying?
Listen without judgement.
Listen with curiosity.
Write them down.
Reflect on them later.
Are these thoughts kind?
Are they critical?
Are they judgemental of self or others?
There are no right or wrong thoughts just notice them.
This is the first step.